Shades of Christmas
by Danielle Salvatore
Summary: A few of the past Christmas days Bonnie and Jeremy spent together as children and one that led to the eventual rekindle of their relationship. (Written as a Christmas for Melanie)


**Shades of Christmas**

**A/N: A Beremy Christmas one-shot I wrote for my friend, Melanie. I hope you enjoy it BB! **

**Bonnie: Five years old, Jeremy: 4 years old**

Bonnie was five years old when she spent her first Christmas at the Gilbert house.

The night before the big day; on Christmas Eve, she, Elena, and Elena's little brother Jeremy sat in the Gilberts' dining room, Grayson Gilbert hovering over something cooking on the stove in the background.

Bonnie had a pleasant smile spread across her face as she gave the air a dainty sniff. "It smells so good."

Elena, who had been goggling at her father's back up until now turned to face her friend at the sound of the words. "It is good! Daddy is making us oatmeal...with em en ems in it!"

Jeremy, who was in the process of doodling in the coloring book in front of him, finally gave the girls his attention. "Red and green," he stated cheerfully, holding up two of his crayons for emphasis.

Bonnie frowned in confusion and was about to ask him 'red and green what' when Grayson placed a bowl of food in front of her with a warm smile.

"This is Elena and Jeremy's favorite breakfast around Christmas time. I hope you like it, Bonnie."

"She will," Elena stated firmly, her tiny mouth already filled with food.

Bonnie glanced down at the bowl and realized that Elena had been right. It was a bowl of oatmeal...sprinkled with green and red M &amp;M's. She looked over in Jeremy's direction and gave a light giggle, realizing now why he had held up the green and red crayons.

But her laughter and smile ceased when she spied a small pair of hands reach quickly into her oatmeal and picked a couple of M &amp;M's from it.

"Hey!" Bonnie exclaimed, her emotions a weird mixture of both amusement and annoyance. She reached out her own hand to swat his away, accidentally dipping it directly into the oatmeal as Jeremy moved his hand swiftly away.

The room was then filled with three different sounds. Bonnie's yelp of mortification, Jeremy's delighted laughter, Elena's quiet gasp, and the stern sound of Grayson saying Jeremy's name.

Seeing that her hand was now buried in the oatmeal, Bonnie threw a glare at Jeremy, whose usually innocent expression seemed to now be smirking at her.

Grayson sighed lowly in exasperation and left the kitchen to go grab a towel. "Hang on, Bonnie."

But Bonnie wasn't paying too much attention to Grayson's disappearing form. Her focus was on Jeremy, who had a twinkle in his eyes as he popped the two M&amp;M's he had stolen from her into his mouth.

* * *

**Bonnie: 11, Jeremy: 10**

A 10-year-old Jeremy was sitting on the couch, his eyes glued to the T.V screen in front of him and his hands firmly on the game controller.

It was the evening after Christmas morning. The festivities had died down; the dinner having been eaten, presents exchanged, and guests having gone home. Now it was time for him to try out the new game he had gotten from his parents. He was just about to finish the sixth level when he felt the slightly painful sensation of something small hitting the back of his head. Hard.

"Ow!" After pausing the game Jeremy rubbed the back of his head lightly, picking up the object that had hit him. It was a penny.

With a glare, he directed his attention towards the person who had obviously thrown it; a smirking Bonnie Bennett. "What was that for?"

Bonnie shrugged, walking over to sit on the couch beside him. "I'm bored. Elena went with Miranda to visit your aunt and I have nothing to do."

Jeremy was trying to think of a nice way to tell her to leave him alone. Despite the fact that one of Bonnie's favorite hobbies seemed to be picking on him, he did, during most circumstances, enjoy her company. But right now he really wanted to continue the game without having to worry about her distracting him.

"So you wanted to throw something at me?"

Bonnie smiled, her eyes holding a small amount of mischievousness. "Yeah, why not?"

Jeremy could think of a million reasons why not. The most important one being that he wanted some time for himself after being crowded by family all day.

"I'm sorry that you think our house is boring. Maybe if you spent Christmas at your own house you'd have more fun."

He was expecting her to hit him in the shoulder or say something smart back. Really _anything _other than what actually happened.

The look on Bonnie's face was one of pure shock at first and then a small amount of tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

Jeremy's eyes widened in a startled fashion. "Bonnie..."

But she didn't give him a chance to speak. Instead, she stood up and fled the living room, ignoring his attempts to call after her.

* * *

Bonnie refused to come out of Elena's room for the rest of the night.

Upon her return, Jeremy's elder sister had shot him a seething glare before running off into her bedroom to console her friend, the definite slam of the door a clear sign that no one else was allowed in the room.

And Jeremy had mixed feelings on it. On one hand, he felt terrible that he had somehow made Bonnie cry but on the other, he figured it would probably be best if he tried to find out exactly what he had done to make her upset.

He saw his chance when he spotted his father in the kitchen, cleaning up after the dinner party.

"Hey dad," Jeremy said as he walked into the room. "Could I ask you something?"

Grayson Gilbert turned away from the sink at the sound of his son's voice, his eyebrows raised. Jeremy had the sinking feeling that he already knew about what had happened. "Yes?"

"Why doesn't Bonnie spend Christmas at her own house?"

It seemed to have been that way for as long as he could remember; Bonnie spending the night at their house during Christmas. And although he never had a problem with it, Jeremy always secretly wondered why.

His father was a bit slow to answer and Jeremy was a little worried that he had crossed a line by asking the question. But relief was granted to him when Grayson finally replied.

"Jeremy...you know that Bonnie's home life is difficult. Her mother left town a few years ago and now her father barely has enough time to spend with her on a daily basis, let alone put together a Christmas celebration. Bonnie comes here every year because we offered it. No kid should miss out on the chance to have a good Christmas."

Hearing that explanation, Jeremy's guilt rose even more. No wonder Bonnie had been so upset. His 'joke' probably reminded her of the unstable nature of her home life. He had to figure out a way to apologize.

He gave his father a short not. "Thanks dad."

Grayson seemed to hesitate for a moment before he nodded, giving Jeremy a single pat on the shoulder before turning to leave the kitchen. "I know you'll do the right thing, son."

* * *

The next morning Jeremy gazed down intensely at the object that he held in his hands.

It was a homemade stocking. Well, not entirely homemade. It started out as being an old stocking that no one in the family used anymore but he cleaned it up and put his artistic charm into it. Now it was a red and green masterpiece, complete with stars and a picture of a tree. He had noticed that Bonnie had forgotten her stocking at home and would have to carry her candy home in a plastic bag, so he hoped that this would be a good enough present to use as an apology.

He saw his chance when he spotted Bonnie getting ready to leave the house, her father honking his car horn to announce that he had arrived to pick her up.

Bonnie had already said her thank yous to the family and was just about to leave the house when Jeremy lightly grabbed her arm. "Bonnie, wait."

She turned to face him and although Jeremy was relieved to see that she no longer looked like she was going to burst into tears, he couldn't help at inwardly cringe at her clearly unwelcome expression. "What Jeremy?"

Gathering up a small amount of courage, Jeremy took out the homemade stalking from behind his back, handing it over to her. "Read the note."

After Bonnie took a moment to ready study the stocking, her eyes glazing over every inch of it, she did as he said, tearing off the small piece of paper taped to the stocking to read the note written in pencil across it.

**_I'm sorry for being a jerk. Forgive me?_**

**_\- Jeremy_**

Once Bonnie looked back up at him and made it clear that she had read the note, he continued speaking. "I really am sorry Bonnie. I didn't mean anything by it. I just wasn't thinking and..."

"Jeremy," Bonnie said, cutting him off. But he was relieved to see that she not had a faint smile on her face. "It's okay. I forgive you."

His eyes widened in slight surprise. "Already?"

She nodded, giving the stocking one more look. "This is a nice present. Thank you for making it for me."

"It was the least I could do. And..."

The sound of a car horn rang through the house again.

Bonnie groaned in annoyance, carrying the stocking as she turned towards the door. "I have to go. Bye everyone!" She then finally exited the house, shutting the door behind her.

Jeremy watched her enter the car and drive away through the front window and smiled, allowing the happiness that they hadn't ended the holidays on bad terms envelop him.

* * *

**Bonnie: 13, Jeremy: 12**

The sight of Jeremy Gilbert holding an envelope was what Bonnie first came across as she entered the Gilbert house for Christmas that year and she noticed that he had an almost shy aura about him.

"Hey Jeremy," the thirteen-year-old girl said as she stepped further into the warmth of the building. "What's up?"

He handed her the envelope. "I made you something. I...it isn't much, just a greeting card. I've been making them for everyone."

One of Jeremy's biggest hobbies, next to video games, was art and he was pretty good at it most of the time. For this reason, Bonnie actually found herself feeling a little excited to take a look at it. After placing the wrapped presents she had brought with her onto the floor, she tore into the envelope.

Inside she found a white piece of paper with a very nicely-drawn reindeer across it, with the words "Merry Christmas" written decoratively in green and red colors across the starred night sky. Bonnie reluctantly smiled at the picture for a few moments before her eyes narrowed in confusion at what /else/ was drawn into the sky. On the top left corner of the card, there was a circular spacecraft, like something you would see in a cartoon with aliens.

At her questioning glance, Jeremy smiled sheepishly. "I thought it would look cool."

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Of course you did." This was something she should have easily expected from Jeremy, considering that back in February, he had made a Valentine's Day card with a sea monster drawn onto it for the girl he had a crush on.

Jeremy looked like he was about to say something else when the sound of Grayson Gilbert's rang through the air. "Alright kids. Time for dinner."

The two preteens stared at each for a very brief moment longer before they parted ways, Jeremy turning his back towards her to follow his father's orders into the kitchen for Christmas dinner, leaving Bonnie standing in the living room alone. For a few seconds, she looked after his departing form until he turned the corner that led to the dining room and she could no longer see him.

Once he was gone, Bonnie discreetly placed the card he had made her into her bag.

* * *

Later that evening, the time came for gifts to be exchanged.

The three kids; Bonnie, Jeremy, and Elena dug into their stockings, that event always taking place before they started opening the actual presents. Bonnie was delighted to see that hers was filled to the brim with candy, just as it was every year. And all of it still coming out of the stocking that Jeremy had made for her a few years prior.

It wasn't until after the celebration was over and Miranda Gilbert drove her home that the topic of the stocking was verbally addressed.

The woman turned towards the thirteen-year-old when they reached a red light.

"Bonnie, I could buy you a new stocking. The one Jeremy gave you is sweet but it's growing old. I'm sure Jeremy would..."

"No!" Bonnie exclaimed a bit more heatedly than she had meant to. Biting her lip in slight embarrassment, she continued. "I'm sorry Mrs. Gilbert. But...the one Jeremy made me is fine. Thank you for offering though."

After a brief moment of what seemed like pondering, Miranda smiled.

"I suppose that's a good thing anyway. Jeremy always has the biggest smile on his face whenever he sees you use it."

* * *

**Bonnie: 15, Jeremy: 14**

"What are you drinking?"

The two of them; Jeremy and Bonnie were sitting on the front porch of the Lockwood manor in the middle of Tyler Lockwood's Christmas party.

Bonnie smiled nonchalantly at the question and took another sip of the large mug in her hands. "Sorry Jer. You're too young to know."

Jeremy scowled in annoyance. "I'm only a little younger than you, Bonnie."

"A little _too _young. You aren't even really supposed to be here. The only reason you were even allowed to come here was because Miranda told Tyler that if he invited Elena, then he had to invite you too."

"That's because Tyler hates me, not because i'm too young."

"I don't know..."

"Just tell me!" Jeremy said, instantly ashamed at himself for whining...like a kid. And the very amused smile on Bonnie's face wasn't helping. But the hole had already been dug. "Please?"

"That's more like it," Bonnie quipped. She then gestured towards her mug. "It's eggnog...with alcohol in it. Tyler gave me and a few other people some."

Jeremy's eyes widened in slight surprise. "Bonnie...do you really think you should be doing that?"

Bonnie shrugged. "Probably not. But my dad isn't here. Besides, i've only been taking a few sips. I don't think I like it very much." A smirk then crossed her lips and she held the mug out to him. "Since you're 'not much younger than me', would you like to try some?"

Jeremy hesitated for a few moments. Secretly, everything in the logical part of his mind was screaming at him to say no but in the end, the stubborn need to prove himself won out. He took the mug from her and began to drink.

* * *

Five large gulps and thirty minutes later, their ride home came.

Jeremy, Bonnie, and Elena all three piled int Rudy's car, Jeremy's legs suddenly feeling very much like jello. But he tried to keep his queasy state hidden, even with his blurry vision.

And everything seemed to be going fairly smoothly until the car began to move. It didn't take a long time at all for the preteen to finally give in to his aching stomach and throw up all over the vehicle.

"Jeremy...are you sick?" Elena asked, her nose scrunched up in distaste at the unpleasant smell.

Rudy reached over to feel Jeremy's forehead, frowning when he obviously didn't feel any sickly warmth. His stern eyes then focused on his daughter.

"Bonnie, was there alcohol at the party?"

A gulping noise sounded from Bonnie's throat. Jeremy, even in his dazed state, knew that most of her nervousness probably stemmed from the fact that she was a terrible liar when it came to her father.

"I...uh...yes, there was," she admitted, hanging her head low.

Needless to say, by the time the night was over and the entire story had been told, Bonnie ended up being grounded on New Years Eve.

* * *

**Bonnie: 20, Jeremy: 19**

Bonnie eyed the Mistletoe hanging above her head out of boredom.

It was the first Christmas since she had escaped from the 1994 time loop...and her first week back in Mystic Falls in general after she had fled the town a little under a year ago. And she felt...awkward to say the least. Awkward and out of place even while standing in the location of the Lockwood manor.

"Bonnie?"

She glanced down to see where the voice had come from and realized that Jeremy Gilbert was now standing in front of her.

The discomfort Bonnie had been feeling moments before increased rapidly. She and Jeremy had never really gotten full closure on their relationship. In fact, they spoke surprisingly very little after she had returned from the time loop and the only really long conversation they had after it was when Bonnie told him she was leaving town. During that discussion, they had made it clear that it would be best for them to finally part ways but hadn't really talked about the _reasons _why that was the best option or about how their relationship had fallen apart. And with all of that, Bonnie wasn't quite sure how to interact with him now.

She bit her lip, and said the lamest thing possible in response. "Hey Jer."

The weakness of her reply was also noticed by him. He rose his eyebrows. "That's it? You leave town right after you got home from purgatory and after almost a year, that's all I get?"

Bonnie sighed deeply, finding that she was now having to put a little effort into suppressing tears. "I don't know what to say. I thought we had everything covered after the conversation we had before I left."

"Not everything."

Silence passed between the ex couple but eventually, it was Jeremy's turn to sigh. "I think I owe you an apology too, Bonnie. I...I was mad, and I still am a little. You let me believe for weeks that everything between us was okay, only to end up telling me over the phone, at the last minute, that you were dying. I didn't even get a good chance to say goodbye or process what was happening before you were gone. But I should have talked to you more when you came back, anger aside."

Bonnie had expected that this would come up eventually during her visit but she still wasn't ready or it. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

"I...I didn't want you to worry about it. It sounds stupid now, I know, but that was how I saw it back then...that it would be better if you didn't know so we could enjoy the time I had left." Now tears were slowly but surely beginning to spill down her cheeks and a guilt expression crossed her face. "And...thinking back on it now, I think another part of it, deep down, was that I was getting back at you for keeping your meetings with Liv a secret from me."

Jeremy's eyes widened in clear shock and maybe...a little hurt. "Bonnie...I...you don't think that..."

"No," Bonnie said, cutting him off. "I know you didn't cheat on me with her. But at the time, I...still wasn't quite over what happened with Anna." Jeremy visibly winced but she continued on with pause. "And Jer, even if you had good intentions, keeping your meetings with her a secret wasn't exactly helping with my self esteem. I know you hadn't meant it...you were actually the one good thing I had going on in my life at the time and I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend or friend I just...I couldn't help but be afraid of losing you at the time. And I was mad that you weren't telling me everything that was going on."

She felt so much better now that she had gotten all of that out, and she released gulp of air that she hadn't realized she had been holding after it was over. After giving Jeremy a few moments to process everything she had said, she placed a hand on his shoulder. "But I know that what I did was much worse...even though I felt like I was protecting you by keeping it a secret. I've had a lot of time to think about it. It wasn't fair to say goodbye to you over the phone and i'm sorry."

To her relief, she could see his face brighten up at the apology and he placed one of his hands over hers, both of them now lingering on his shoulder. His expression was now apologetic. "I'm sorry too, Bonnie. I...just didn't think about how that would effect you. I guess I was dumb enough to think that we both put everything behind us when we got back together...because for me, that's how it was. I saw what I did as a mistake that I would never look back on, because what I felt for you was real and letting you go back then was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. But I should have known that you would still be effected by it." He paused and then looked into her eyes intently. "Do you think...you could forgive me?"

Bonnie gave him a small smile. "Of course. I already forgave you a long time ago. And...I know it's a lot to ask but..."

"I forgive you," Jeremy said, answering her unfinished question.

Bonnie smiled once more, this time in happy surprise. She used her free hand to wipe away the small amount of tears that still lingered on her cheeks. "Really? That easily?"

Jeremy smiled sheepishly. "I think I already started to. I just needed a chance to really say everything I wanted to before I could do it fully." He then glanced up near the ceiling, and a more genuine smile, the smile that Bonnie had really missed over the past year, crossed his lips. "Look. Mistletoe."

Bonnie glanced up and actually had the faint urge to be a little shy. She had completely forgotten about the mistletoe. "Jeremy..."

"Let's try again Bonnie," he suddenly said, his voice actually a bit pleading. He gently took her hands into his.

Bonnie's initial reaction was complete surprise. "What?"

"I missed you," Jeremy said, his voice now a bit hoarse. "So much. I think we both know that our biggest problem was always honestly...and from now on, we should try to be completely honest with each other. And that's why I have to say...I love you. I still love you and I want to give our relationship another chance." He breathed in a large gulp of air, his body tense. "Do you still love me?"

Once again, tears stung her eyes. "Of course I do Jeremy. I never stopped."

"Then...will you give us another try? We could start slow. I could take you out for dinner tomorrow night."

The simplicity of the idea made Bonnie laugh a little through her tears. "I think I can agree with that. But first..." She pointed up towards the mistletoe. "I think we have something else we need to do."

And then, on the very same porch that they had been on when they had shared a mug of alcoholic eggnog as preteens, they shared their first kiss in over a year. And it was one that was filled with promises for the future.

**The End**


End file.
